Making Space for Every Voice: Listening, Learning, Belonging

Dr Sarah Cassidy, PSI President and proud member of the Autistic community

"On World Autism Day, as a late diagnosed Autistic woman I want to highlight that we have a long way to go as we support the Autistic community.  Only very recently, there has been a big debate around the opinions shared by developmental psychologist, Dr Uta Frith. While many people have very strong views on what has been said, I think that discourse is simultaneously very valuable.  With this in mind, I attempt to retain a semblance of balance in my viewpoints.  I aim for my opinions to be formed by exploring debates, having conversations, evaluating scientific research and clinical practice and always by listening to the individuals who are most impacted by the public discourse.  

Published research shows that increases in diagnoses of Autism and other neurodevelopmental conditions often coincide with expanded diagnostic criteria, improved awareness, and better identification of historically overlooked populations.  Sometimes a particular conversation focuses on a group that is in the media at that precise moment in time but let us not overlook so many who have been missed for diagnosis or misdiagnosed. And let us not magnify existing stigma towards neurominorities because that is truly harmful.

There is so much good we can put into the world when we work together as allies. While it is tempting sometimes to scream into the darkness every time something is said in pop culture or mass media that immediately affects how our families see themselves or how they access services and supports, let us instead elevate the voices of the many autistic people who are actually right here on the ground, experiencing this first hand."

Eoin Ó Cathasaigh, Autistic Augmentative and Alternative Communication (AAC) user, living in Dublin

"I really feel I belong because my family always supported me. They loved me always and never tried to change me. How you are reared can prohibit a good sense of yourself. I think many people go to great lengths wanting their children to be the same as other children.

Schools have to change how they educate Autistic children. I was home educated from an early age, and many Autistic children are home educated because of school trauma. I think school is about being the same, and we Autistic people are very different. School needs to be more open to diversity. I have experienced trauma at school. I am terrified that young children and teenagers are still being mistreated, being secluded and restrained at school because we as a society still do not understand what it is to be Autistic. I am a proud Autistic person despite my experiences."

Lucinda Murrihy, Mum to two fabulous Autistic children and Head of Strategy at Inclusion Ireland

"Belonging is something you only truly understand when you’ve lived without it. It’s a feeling. One you recognise instantly when you are deeply thirsty for it.

Belonging is tightly bound to inclusion and exclusion. For most in our society, exclusion remains largely invisible. It hides behind “convenient inclusion,” where systems decide what inclusion looks like and expect individuals to adapt. It hides behind resistance and fear. It hides behind the quiet reassurance of 'I’ve already done the inclusion thing'.

As a result, the absence of belonging stays hidden - and unchallenged.

Real inclusion begins with listening to the Autistic child or adult in front of you - honouring whatever way they communicate – truly hearing their experiences and recognising them as experts in shaping environments where all of us can belong.

I knew my Autistic children would belong in their school when the principal said to me: “We’ve never had an autistic child with Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) before. We’ve never had a non-speaking child before. We’ve never had a child with an intellectual disability before. We will learn so much.” And they do. Every day, they learn from my two little experts. Every day, my children feel that they matter. They see themselves reflected in the culture of the school. They are valued. They belong. Their peers grow up alongside them with a level of understanding and acceptance many of us were never afforded. Society evolves. This is what inclusion looks like.

This Autism Awareness Month, we must ask ourselves: are we truly listening? Do we have any idea who lives without belonging? Are we creating space for Autistic voices to be heard, to reshape Ireland?

Autistic people are not here to fit into society - we are here to change it. And that change begins when we replace assumptions with listening.

When we do, belonging becomes something we all get to take for granted."

Conor's beloved dog, Sully. 

Conor, third-level student and Autistic person

Conor was asked what helps him feel that his voice is heard in the many roles he has for example a friend, a son, and college student. Conor thoughtfully considered the question and replied:

"In my social groups, I feel that when the people around me have an understanding [of autism and of me] this is what makes me feel that my voice is heard.

If my friends have the basic understanding of how I feel in certain scenarios, whether that is in a noisy situation or in places with a lot of people, it can make me feel more comfortable to speak up about how I feel. Sometimes, I might feel overstimulated.

I don't have the fear of being questioned when people know and understand me in these spaces, whether it is in college or in other social groups. This helps me feel included.

In my last year of secondary school, I was voted for the Someone Who Makes You Smile award by my classmates. Even though I hated getting the award and having to stand in front of people. It was this moment which made me realize that through just being myself, even if it is a bit different, I am able to fit in just fine.

There is no need to try and blend in with everyone else, but instead to embrace the things that made me a bit different."

Zarah Doyle, Head of National Supports at AsIAm, AuDHD, parent and advocate

"During World Autism Acceptance Month, I’m reminded of something simple yet powerful: every person deserves to feel safe, respected, and comfortable in their own community. For Autistic and otherwise neurodivergent people, this isn’t just a hope; it’s a human right and one we are embracing more deeply as a society.

Feeling included begins when people choose understanding over assumption. Inclusion should never depend on someone suppressing parts of who they are to make others comfortable. We all deserve to be accepted exactly as we are.

Many support needs are visible. Many more are quiet and internal; emotional sensitivity, a nervous system that becomes overwhelmed easily, the sting of rejection, or the long effort of trying to seem “fine” during difficult moments. For many Autistic women discovering their identity later in life, this can mean years of feeling different without knowing why.

As an AuDHD parent to Autistic children, I see every day how understanding grows when we meet each other’s needs with patience and compassion. We share a unique connection: a mutual understanding of calm, clarity, and acceptance without explanation. Supporting my children has meant learning alongside them and building the kind of understanding none of us received early on, something that deeply informs my work supporting Autistic families nationwide.

And although there is still work to do, we have come a long way. Understanding is growing, conversations are expanding, and support systems are slowly becoming more compassionate.

What helps most isn’t a formal policy although it is important; it’s really about the small human signals, a soft smile that says “you’re okay,” a steady tone, not being rushed, being given space to think, and being spoken to with patience and respect. These tiny moments help my nervous system settle so I can participate fully and I hear from families every day that these simple gestures change everything.

Misinformation can still create confusion and hurt, but change is happening. When we listen more and assume less, understanding grows and communities strengthen.

Autism Acceptance Month invites us to move forward with empathy and hope. When we honour communication differences and respect how each nervous system moves through the world, we create places where people don’t just fit in they belong."